8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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