walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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