oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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