I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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