During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
