saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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