Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
