I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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