OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
