Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
