How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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