I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
