i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
