? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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