Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
