I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
