Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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