my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
