i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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