After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
