Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
