does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
