Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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