I'm lost and stupid without you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
