new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
