doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
