I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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