she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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