i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
