Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize