Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize