piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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