I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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