Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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