she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
