Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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