Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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