Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize