But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
