i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize