is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
