Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
