There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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