i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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