omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My penis needs a shock collar
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
