Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
