No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
