so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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