I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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