Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
