Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
