someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
