That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
