Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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