i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
