I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
