If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
