You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
