so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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