Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When are your genitals available?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
