We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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