i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
