i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
