Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
