I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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